Posts in category: Articles of Interest

Following the incidents involving online dating websites and the growth of online dating websites and apps we thought it best to put together a post about online safety and just some things to consider when going about online dating.

For the most part going online for love, romance, or sexual liaisons can have a mixture of emotions from excitement to nerves, however it is important that your own personal safety and wellbeing comes first. With so many sites catering to all genders, religions, hobbies and sexualities it might seem like a bit of a daunting task, and with so many people now using these sites you could be fooled into thinking that, “Oh it wouldn’t happen to me” but these things can and do happen.

Below is a list of some “Do’s and Don’ts” for when your meeting someone new, but before that I wanted to touch on a key issue that has become everyone’s bug bare when using online dating…Fake Profiles / Catfishing. For the younger generation, you may know what this is thanks to MTV’s Catfish but for those a bit older let me take a second to explain. Catfishing is where someone is pretending to be someone that they are not through using fake images, pictures or details. Whilst many sites try to remove these profiles and make it harder for catfish (Fake Profiles) to be created some apps like Tinder, Grindr or Her it can be hard to differentiate between who is fake and who in genuine.

• If they seem too good to be true, they could well be.
• Are they asking you for money? Never send any money to anyone, it is likely to be a scam!
• Don’t give out your number straight away! If they are interested they will be wanting to talk to you more and will make that effort.
• Let friends or family know where you are going and when you will be home
• Meet in a public place with lots of people around
• Use your own transportation to get to and from the date
• Watch your alcohol level and don’t leave your drink unattended
• Keep wallet, purse, phone and keys on you
• Contact a friend when the date is over
• Be clear that if you don’t want to do something then you are able to leave a date

The best piece of advice is to use your common sense, if something doesn’t feel right or you are unsure about anything there is no harm in waiting or just saying no. Finally, if something were to happen then be sure to contact the police first to ensure that the person responsible is caught.

International Women’s Day is a chance to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women around the world. The focus for this year is on accelerating gender parity across the world and encouraging both women and men to take action. There are many notable women who are doing just that. In this week’s blog we want to focus on LGBT women who are taking a stand and making the world a better place regardless of sexuality, gender, race or religion.

Clare Balding has on many an occasions spoken out about the gender inequalities faced within sport today. Balding uses her position to try and increase awareness of female sport, calling on broadcasters to increase the coverage of competitive sports. She pushes for more funding to help encourage more young women to get involved with sport at a grassroots level.

In addition to this Balding also turned heads by presenting the BBC’s coverage from the Sochi Winter Olympics in 2010 amongst the anti-LGBT controversy in Russia: “I will be presenting from Sochi for the BBC. I will do so because I am a sports presenter who happens to be gay. I think the best way of enlightening societies that are not as open-minded as our own is not to be cowed into submission.”

Ellen DeGeneres became a household name after publically coming out as a lesbian on national TV in 1997, since then she has continued to champion LGBT rights and Women’s equality. In 2003 she started her own daytime talk show, which she has used as a platform to raise awareness on high profile issues including the bullying of young LGBT people, equality and diversity and the importance of charitable giving.

Last year DeGeneres partnered with GAP and launched GAPKids X ED a chance to empower girls everywhere and break down gender stereotypes: “Supporting girls just as they are, whether they skateboard or dance, wear dresses or jeans, build forts of paint rainbows, or everything in between…We encourage girls everywhere to take pride in what makes them unique.

Paris Lees became the first transgender presenter for Radio 1 and Channel 4, and has used this position to change the media’s representation and public attitudes of transgender people. In addition to using her position as a presenter to bring Trans* issues to the attention of mainstream audiences. “I have decided that I want this country to be more accepting for Trans* people and I will literally die trying to make that happen.”

Laverne Cox rose to global fame playing Sophia Burset on Orange is the New Black, and she will be remembered for her advocacy of the rights of women and Trans* women alike. Last year Cox teamed up with UN Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson to launch a twitter campaign entitled #ILoveMenButHatePatriarchy. They wanted to highlight and challenge the stereotype that feminists hate men, putting the focus back on increased equality between men and women.

Within the US Cox has helped bring the Trans* community to the media’s attention. Using the chance to discuss and campaign against increased violence towards transgender women in America. She declared that the “Trans* community is in a state of emergency” following the deaths of 17 transgender women in early 2015. She continues to call upon the government to take action in helping to keep the Trans* community safe. Cox has become a global feminist icon campaigning for gender equality and the rights of both cis gender and transgender women.

These LGBT+ women are just the tip of the iceberg. There are many more around the world that work tirelessly for the rights of women everywhere. Both in the lights of mainstream media and at a grassroots level in our local communities. So on this day make sure you take a moment to think about all the work that is being done by women, not just for gender equality, and not just for the rights of women, but for making the world a better place as a whole.

I recently gave a talk at a local school. I was asked a few questions that I’m compelled to write about.

“Why did you say LGBT+ and not LGBTQ?”

“What’s next?”

They both caused me some amusement. Mainly because of the temptation to just say “Because.” Or “What do you think?” And also because asking “What’s next?” to a person who barely knows where he’s meant to be in the next hour isn’t going to result in a very satisfying answer.

The various LGBT acronyms have caused me a fair amount of frustration throughout my time working at Support U. There are now so many variants and preferences for what should and shouldn’t be included. Even within the Support U pride we often debate the use of the ‘+’ or the ‘Q’. I like the ‘+’ because it’s simple. It’s all encompassing, it saves paper and it saves time. More to the point it saves us from having to use ridiculous acronyms like ‘QUILTBAG’ or ‘LGBTTQQIAAP’.

But, of course people like to feel included and reducing the spectrum of gender and sexuality into a ‘+’ is going to leave some people dissatisfied. It is a sign of an inclusive community that attempts are made to create acronyms like ‘QUILTBAG’ so that everyone has representation. But if we continue to create new acronyms for every possible representation of a person’s experience of sexuality or gender, we are going to end up with alphabetti spaghetti.

This is not an attempt to invalidate people. Everyone’s experience is unique and different. So why do we try to reduce it down to letters in an acronym? We know that sexuality is fluid, and changes throughout people’s lives. We know that people’s experience of gender is not simply Male or Female and younger generations are becoming more accepting of these facts.

So what’s next?

I can’t tell you how we get there. But I can hazard a guess at what an ideal scenario would look like. Charities like Support U are no longer needed. There will no longer be a stigma attached to the LGBT+ community, and specialist support will no longer be required. We will no longer need acronyms, though representation serves a purpose at this time in history. Where we’re so concerned with the categorization of human experience for the purpose of census data, admin and services. Making people aware of the variety in experience of gender and sexuality will eventually lead to a full picture of what a human is. As this continues I hope that we can eventually get to a point where we don’t need acronyms to identify with. Coming out won’t be a necessity, holding hands as a same sex couple won’t turn heads and our understanding of gender won’t be restricted by genitalia. The LGBT+ community won’t be a ‘gay’ thing or a ‘queer’ thing, it will be a human thing.

Until such a time comes, if ever, we continue to do what we are doing. Pushing the awareness of our existence, and standing together under…well, whatever acronym you like.