October 11th is National Coming Out Day a chance to celebrate those who have come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) or an ally of the LGBT community. This year marks its 27th year and is held on the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.
What is coming out?
It is the process through which an individual discloses their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. It is a personal journey for which there is no time frame. For some the process of coming out can take a couple of years and for others even longer. Any LGBT person will tell you that coming out is not a single occurrence. Many continue to come out due to peoples assumption that everyone is straight, cisgendered or gender binary.
Coming out as a member of the LGBT community can be seen as going against the norm of being straight or your assigned gender. This feeling of going against the ‘norm’ can highlight why so many people find the initial process of coming out so daunting. This is why many self-question their sexuality and work towards accepting that we are normal and everything is okay. Whilst it is initially seen as a daunting task, coming out for many is seen as a positive experience. With many looking back and saying it was the best thing they have ever done, often wishing they had done so sooner.
There is no right or wrong way for people to come out. The best way being the one that feels most comfortable. The most logical step is to tell someone who you trust and will be both supportive and understanding. Knowing you have people on your side will make you more confident when telling others. After coming out many turn to social media platforms such as YouTube to share their coming out stories in the hope of inspiring others. Stories are uploaded everyday, and if you are questioning you will be sure to find someone who has story to tell that will help you through your coming out.
With more and more people coming in many different ways it could be seen and many ask why is coming out important?
There are two ways as to why coming out is still seen as important in modern day society; personally and publicly. Coming out is important as it is first and foremost about self-acceptance and being able to say I am different and I’m okay with that. In a cliché statement it is about ‘letting your true colours show’.
For those who aren’t apart of the LGBT community the first thing to understand is that the process of coming out is one that doesn’t stop. People are still coming out many years after their original self-disclosure. This is mainly due to the presumption that everyone follows the ‘norm’ and is either straight or following their assigned gender. As more people come out, the more visible the LGBT community becomes. A more visible community leads to better understanding and more LGBT+ allies. The more people that are related to or affected by the LGBT+ community, the closer we come to a more inclusive and equal society.
The increase in the number of famous people coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender is helping to further highlight the LGBT community. Regardless of sexuality they act as roles models and inspire countless numbers of people on a daily basis. Their coming out is helping to change attitudes and perceptions towards gay footballers, lesbian politicians, bisexual presenters and transgender actors/actresses. They not only inspire but show that through self-belief and commitment it is possible to succeed in any given field.
Things are improving.
But until the day comes when homophobia and transphobia are no longer common place and people are no longer concerned with who you love or what “parts” you have, coming out will always be important.
Need help with coming out? http://supportu.org.uk/coming-out.php
http://www.rucomingout.com is a great website which host a number of coming out stories from people all across the world.